Hi Cynthia,

Thanks so much for your comments! My Snippet Sunday excerpts are often from works-in-progress. General’s Wife has been through a few rounds of edits since I posted this excerpt, including by a copyeditor who knows way more about horses than I!

Concerning the developing American accent in the 18th century (something I find fascinating), this link might be of interest to you:
https://scratchofthequill.wordpress.com/2016/05/28/what-did-george-washingtons-voice-sound-like/
There are differing theories of what American English sounded like in the colonies. I chose to go with the theory that accents already had acquired distinct sounds (patterns of speech, lilt, rhotacism, etc.) to be recognizable as “American”, especially since (some parts of) the colonies had been settled for 150 years or so. For me, this works well as a plot device. I’m using accents-as-distinguishing-characteristics in my upcoming series with Ellora’s Cave set in Victorian England, as well.

[On a side note, in dealing with historical fiction one often has a choice of theories to go with. Some are supported by concrete evidence; some supported by conjecture; some are just really convenient for a plot! And the further back in time, the greater the number of theories. For my Hadrian book I had quite a plethora to choose from.]

And, yes, in terms of balancing historical accuracy with eroticism, I will most likely fall on the side of eroticism. In General’s Wife there is probably way more bed hopping than one might have encountered in 1777.

Thanks for visiting my blog! I hope you’ll return!

-Regina

I chanced on your blog through a trackback on POV editing (Beth Hill). I was instantly curious about historical fiction erotica since I write historical fiction. love research and, well, you know…erotica…

Reading this snippet–and I respect that it’s only that–I wanted to point out a couple of things. Someone else has already mentioned the gaits of the horse. If he GALLOPED down the hill, he would slow to a canter (not cantor, of course, that’s someone who sings in a synagogue, I believe). He might go to a slow canter; I’m ok with that if you want him going down two gears.

However, if this is only a “knoll” (or hill). Unless it’s a long, gradual slope, it wouldn’t be likely he’d even have time to gallop down it, much less, change to a slow canter and have time to downshift to a trot and then come to a stop. I fear the Redcoat (it wants to be capitalised), white flag or not, might pick up his *musket* and shoot our Patrick.

Gun: you might look at a few sources. I don’t think the weapon you’re calling a gun is likely anything but a “musket”–and you can give it so much more historical interest by naming it so. Whether it’s a Springfield or a Flintlock musket or the French Minié rifle (not musket), it probably wasn’t called a gun. And handguns (as we call them) seem to be ‘pistols’. Mind you, I’m no expert–but in writing about the Crimean War (1852-1855) I found out lots from just online sources.

Finally, as my British husband pointed out, it’s likely that ALL “Americans” had British accents. After all, they WERE British subjects! Just read the Declaration of Independence, etc, and you’ll see that they were English, through and through. At the time of the American Revolution, it’s my understanding (again, I am no expert) that the British and American (aside from native speakers or French settlers, etc) were the same. You’ll find lots of sources on that, too.

I hope this is of use to you. Naturally, if this sub-genre doesn’t look for the added luxury of historical detail, then I understand. As I said, it’s new to me. And I love the concept you’ve got! I’m not trying to be critical, believe me. Just helpful. I wanted to much to find historical erotica I could dive into from time to time.

I confess, though, that it would really distract me to try and read so many things that could be sorted out with just a little Googling and Wikipedia-ing to give your erotic tale that extra bit of polish and accuracy. Oh, I’ll have some of that!

All the best,
cynthia

Ooh! Thanks for that correction! I’m going to change it right now. The ms hasn’t been to the copyeditor yet.

Just a note, though — you might want to look into a horse’s gaits. (For one thing, it’s a cantEr, not a cantOr… Unless, of course, it’s a musical and the horse is singing as he goes.) (Sorry… I was up for 39 hours straight yesterday and am still a little loopy.)

Still, I want to know more about these two men.

Ah-ha! Is Clara’s safety part of the war? Hmmm? …

Ooh! I want readers to be curious!

An important truce because the stakes are high!